Agnes - When I was expecting Stuart I was working with Alexis from the New Expectations Group. Through this I met Margaret Anne who was the midwife with Family Matters and Linda who was the drugs worker.

Agnes - Quite supportive. Helped me with relationship difficulties and housing. It was good having someone to talk to.

Peter - I was against it. I heard the words 'social work' at the pre-birth meeting and was not happy. I have always seen social work as a threat. I thought no way I wasn’t having any of it.

Agnes - I thought social work also meant they take your kids into care. Then after not getting Stuart home I thought Family Matters were meant to help but it’s backfired on me. I was really angry and disappointed and felt let down.

Peter- I would influence what Agnes thought about Family Matters and social work. She was telling me to work with them but I was so angry I just didn’t want to.

Peter - Well I thought there was no point in fighting against social work. Working with Anne Marie made it easier and this changed my attitude. It felt better when I was speaking about things and Anne Marie made a lot of sense.

Agnes - I realised I had to work with Anne Marie or I wouldn’t get to see Stuart. She was easy to talk to but you couldn’t kid her on either.

Agnes - The more I spoke out about things and told Anne-Marie what was wrong I was able to deal with things better and get along. I felt I had better self-esteem. That someone was there to listen just for me. I wasn’t being judged and felt the project were really trying to help me and more importantly help get Stuart back home.

Peter - I didn’t like it though when sometimes I went into the project and someone knew me. I didn’t want people knowing my business.

Agnes - They helped me with getting to hospital appointments, and gave me a washing machine which Stuart needed and a high chair which they also got for me. It just made life a lot easier. When going into the project you see a friendly face, either Christine or Karen. They are not judging you and take you the way you are. Family Matters is laid back and family orientated, feels like sitting in a living room getting a cup of tea. We feel as if Family Matters wanted to help us. Even when things went wrong, and they did big time. They told us straight how it was but they were there for us. It made it easier when we knew we had messed up that people just didn’t give up on us

Peter - I have learned to deal with my anger appropriately, walking away or phoning Ann-Marie to talk about things. I know now it is okay to talk. I can calm down better.

Both - we both learned lots about drugs issues and childcare. Made us realise what was risky for Stuart. We were being selfish at the beginning until reality hit home. Nearly losing Stuart was the worst time in our lives. When he went on the Child Protection Register again we thought that would be it. Not that we would have stopped fighting for him but we had messed up big time. Family Matters worked with us and helped us sort things out.

Peter - I don’t even like taking Stuart to the chemist now, I take him to nursery first if I can. I think this time my drugs worker is different. I feel I can open up more whereas other workers expect you to be the same as all their other clients and don’t treat you different. Linda is straight talking and you know that there is no messing with her. Not that I try now but I did in the beginning. I thought I could get away with things. You see that is the difference - Linda really knows where I am at.

Agnes - I feel my self-esteem and confidence is better. I can speak out more whereas before I held things in and let it build up and be angry. Now I speak out. And it does work to speak out. It helps you. I never thought I would be able to speak at those big meetings they had to decide what was to happen with Stuart but I did, and people listened to what I said. I am also a lot better at keeping appointments and know I am a lot more motivated.

Peter - I understand myself better. I am able to listen to advice like when Stuart was having problems eating. I know it is okay to ask. If anything is wrong with Stuart I’ll phone up Anne Marie She listens to me and gives me good advice. Sometimes I know what to do but it is just good to check things out. Stuart loves the nursery, and it is great to see him so happy. I feel dead proud of him, and I can’t think of anything better than being his dad.

We think we are quite good parents and give all we can and do everything we can for him. Stuart is the most important thing in our lives and we nearly lost him. That will never happen again. We are just a normal wee family now and thanks to the help we have had from Family Matters we can see a future for Stuart and us that a few years ago we just didn’t think would be possible.